You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
