You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
