My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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