CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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