Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Randomize
