Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
