You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Randomize