We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Randomize
