After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
