My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
