Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
