Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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