today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
