He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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