Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Reggie can tackle my bush.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Randomize
