I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
