I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Randomize
