When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
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