a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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