no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
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