I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
This baby is an asshole
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
