i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
