Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
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