It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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