Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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