I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Did you pee in the oven last night??
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
