but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
