even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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