We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I need a beard to bite.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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