My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
