Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
