girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
