Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Randomize
