so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
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