That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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