brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
