at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
