he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
its liver damage thursday
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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