The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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