it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize