It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Randomize
