I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
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