We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Panties = found
Randomize
