glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
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