No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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