We're facebook friends in real life
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Randomize
