remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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