Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
We're too hungover to prance.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
