Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize