the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
