eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize
