Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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