is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
