A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
So vagazzling was a success
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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