this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
