like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
