i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize