Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
