you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize