The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
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