"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Randomize
