first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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