I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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