So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
