drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
