You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
