some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
